What a Difference Five Months Makes.......

Where to begin???

Christmas was a nightmare and started gaining..... Tried to do HCG in Jan and was starving and miserable. Husband threw away my scale and said enough is enough. Quit after 10 days..... Gains continued.... Got sick and was bedridden for 6 weeks in EXTREME pain. Saw numerous doctors with no help. Took every medication possible: nothing. Ate for comfort and to ease the constant nausea. Gains soared.... Finally able to get out of bed, but devastated at how far I had fallen. Found out we might be moving to Houston, husband gone, and teenager pushing me to my limits.... gains out of control!!!

So, here I am today on day four of a new HCG round.

I have been all over the map emotionally. I have wanted to post, but was too embarrassed about the gains. So upset at myself for letting it get this far....

But then I remembered that this is where my friends are :) I have picked them up when they have gotten off track, and I know they will do the same.

I never replaced the scale my husband threw away. I did not like the control it had over me and my emotions. So I am doing this round with NO SCALE! Talk about freedom :) I know what to eat and not eat. I know what clothes I want to get into. So what is the purpose of determining my day based on what the scale says??

This will definitely be an adventure, and I am happy that I am back on track. I could keep beating myself up and self medicating with food, but it just isn't worth it. So here goes nothing.....

Okay, so I went a little crazy. I am pretty sure I had a mid-life crisis :) Who am I?? What am I supposed to do?? What am I going to do with the rest of my life?? I turn 39 next week....... need I say more? The diet went out the window and I have basically been a basket case :)

I have finally decided to put on the brakes and turn the ship back around! I started last round at 155.6 and I have been hanging around 154. I guess another round after the holiday will be in order. I have been trying to sort things out and decide what I want to do. So here is what I came up with.

#1- I am just going to try to maintain right now thru the end of the month, instead of stress myself out during the holiday and try to lose.

#2- I started back exercising this week. I forgot how much I love dance! I have to keep the body moving!

#3- I am going back to school. I have gone back and forth on this because I could not figure out which direction I wanted to take. I found the degree I want. It is Community Health Education. Once I have my bachelors, then I can get certified as a Community Health Education Specialist. From there, I have lots of options as to where I want to go.

#4- I will start HCG consulting for a chiropractic office that is adding HCG to their office. They have an excellent homeopathic HCG that can only be obtained by a doctor. It has HCG plus a lot of extras in it.

Combine those with all of the regular family duties and I should be very BUSY!! Just how I like it :)

So that is my life in a nutshell. I have missed chatting with you all. Let me know how you are doing! If anyone wants to get HCG, just let me know. The cost is $99 and includes an hour getting started class (or phone) with me! Happy Holidays!

Laughter really is the best medicine..... :)

I saw this over the weekend and about died laughing! A cop has been stealing confiscated marijuana and baking brownies with it. He and his wife apparently had a bit too much and freaked out and called 911. You would NEVER live that one down! :)

My life lately....

I don't know what is wrong with me. Actually, this seems to happen pretty regularly. I am the typical perfectionist/overachiever type. I love a challenge and am most happy when I am using my brain. I love to work, and mothering has always been harder for me. I usually always work at least part time. Even though it is nice to have a break, this seems to happen after awhile. I get depressed and feel like I don't know what to do with myself. The house is clean, the projects are done, and now what??? I am the type of person who has the running "to-do" list in her head at all times. I can't sit still, and have never been able to take a nap during the day time. I used to love reading, and now would be the perfect time to just relax and catch up on some good books, but I can't. Same thing with the HCG. Each phase is always a challenge and has it's own things to work on. But when you hit lifetime maintenance after a while, it just becomes life. So combine those two and I am a basket case :) I am turning 39 in a few weeks. Age has never been an issue for me or bothered me. Until now. I am feeling like time is running out and I don't have anything to show for it. I feel anxiety, and an extreme need to travel. To get out there and go, see and do. On the body front, it is the same. Yes I lost the weight, but 40 year old skin is not 20 year old skin! I feel like I got to the game late. I think everyone thinks of losing the weight and getting to be that picture in your head of your perfect body. Only to realize it is a smaller version of my old self. Still all of the stretch marks and imperfections. And now I even have a varicose vein too!! I am my grandmother!! Ok, I know I need to calm down. I am guessing this is what a mid life crisis feels like :) Who am I? What do I bring to the world? What do I have to show for my life? What am I going to do with the rest of my life? For someone who has slight "control" issues, it really sucks not having all the answers and not knowing what to do next.

Proud to be an American....

I just had to comment about how lucky I feel to live in a country where your voice can be heard. Not only heard, but that we as American citizens really can step in when we feel things are going in the wrong direction. I cannot imagine living in other countries where you do not have that right, and where you just have to accept what is. NO MATTER WHAT SIDE YOU ARE ON, it is inspiring to see America demonstrate the most unique and special thing about our country. Sometimes your "team" wins and sometimes you have to endure. But the very fact that we have a choice, means EVERYTHING. We as Americans have no excuse. If you don't like it....... then do something about it. :)

Back to Lifetime Maintenance....

Today begins lifetime maintenance.... again :) TOM is here :( Feeling puffy, crampy and just overall icky! This weekend I had some Kneaders french toast. It was good, but I only had half and did not go crazy. Felt good about that. Then TOM hit along with cravings galore. I had 2 pumpkin cookies, 1 brownie, popcorn, licorice and 1/2 a chocolate shake!! Needless to say I am not going near the scale this morning :) I am going to do a high protein day today and keep it clean for the next few days. This week I am going to start exercising. Today I will do some resistance training with some intervals to finish off. Not much else to report! I will let you know what the scale says after a few days of being good :)

R4 P4 D16....

Sorry it has been awhile! Life has been keeping me busy :) The weight has been fluctuating between the 2 lbs and doing well. I weigh some days, and not others. Just trying to practice eating for the rest of my life and not taking it too seriously :) I have been out of the habit of exercising for so long now, I find myself not making time for it. So unlike me. I definitely need to get into a routine again. I have a few food finds to share with you.

The first is heaven in a jar :) This is sunflower seed butter, with added flax and hemp seed. This is sooooo good. It does not list sugar on the label, just organic vanilla powder. After one taste I immediately called the company because I knew there was some sort of sweetness in there!! They said their vanilla powder does have some sucrose, and they are changing the label. Even though there was not much, during P3 I was careful to have just a little at a time. It is amazing and most of the time eaten just off the spoon! I found it at Good Earth. It can also be found at Naturally Nutty. They have all sorts of flavored nut butters. My next one to try is White Chocolate Coconut Peanut Butter...... :)

Next up, makes life easier and delicious at the same time! This is from Costco. Nothing but the pork, salt and water. Heats up in seconds and can be used a million different ways. My favorite lately is pork tacos in romaine lettuce leaves.

For someone who LOVES anything coconut, I can't believe I have lived without this all my life. If the sunflower butter is heaven in a jar, this is heaven in a can. I use it in everything. Soups, sauces, puddings, over fruit, frosting etc. It thickens things up and makes them creamy. I don't really taste the coconut once it is mixed in something else. Only when I put it on fruit can I really taste the coconutty goodness :) For those in P3 looking for a decadent treat without the sugar and starch try this pudding.

1 pkg sugar free pudding of choice

1 cup of cream

1 cup coconut milk

I said decadent. You can also use 1 cup greek yogurt and 1/2 cup cream, and 1/2 cup coconut milk to add in some protein. Basically you are adding 2 cups of liquid to the pudding. If you want less fat then use 1 cup milk, 1/2 cup cream, 1/2 cup coconut milk. Just make sure to blend the pudding and the thinnest liquid first really well then add the others and blend completely so you don't get pudding mix chunks. Here was my latest. I used Banana Cream pudding, with the 2 cups split evenly between cream, coconut milk (can), coconut milk (box). Of course I had to sprinkle with unsweetened coconut and some sliced almonds and cinnamon :)