R4 P2 D5...

Down -3.2lbs! Only 1.6 more to be back to start weight!

The first VLCD really wasn't too bad. I was not hungry except for right before meal times. I was a little tired, but overall better than expected. I keep trying not to dwell on the fact that I still have soooooo long to go :) One nice thing I forgot about was the good sleep! I got tired early and slept really well all night.

Here is what I will be eating today:

40g Jay Robb 146.6

60g spinach 13.8

115g straw 36.8

5g cocoa 10.0

4oz tilapia 110.0

200g asparagus 50.0

215g apple 111.8

Total calories: 479.0

I use Jay Robb shakes as protein sources as well. They were fine in the past. The nice thing is that I can make 2 shakes out of the protein, spinach, strawberry and cocoa. Very filling.

R4 P2 D4....

Well, I did the VLCD yesterday all day till 7pm and was just getting ready to make my second meal when the family really wanted to go out. I had originally planned to do 3 loading days and start VLCD today. So, in the end they convinced me to have one final meal! It was hard because I really wanted to start and see the numbers drop :) So today is my first real VLCD. I lost .2 yesterday even with the meal so I am 160.2. I am off to work this morning with my food ready to go! My first goal is to get back to where I spent the last 5 months or so at 149.8. That was before vacation and loading. Here was today:

4oz chicken 146.6

215g apple 111.8

200g celery 32

3oz chicken 110

115g straw 36.8

200g tomato 36

5g cocoa 10

Total Calories: 483.20

**I am going to leave out the starches and up the protein just a smidge. A lot of people have been having better results with that. Also, the HCG book I use says that unsweetened cocoa is a spice and I have used it in every round so far. I drink 1 liter of water, 1 liter cold yerba mate iced tea, 2 cups hot tea daily. The cocoa is used for a strawberry smoothie, made with portion frozen strawberries, 1 TBSP cocoa, 3/4 cup water, stevia to taste. Blend till smooth. I will only going walking 20-30 minutes for exercise, when I feel the energy to do so :)

R4 P2 D3...

Let's see my 2 days of loading went a little like this:

Friday: Venti SB Cinnamon Dolce and pumpkin bread, In-n-Out burger and fries, Sweetooth Fairy cupcakes in carrot and coconut, Cafe Rio salad and key lime pie, licorice and pumpkin choc chip cookies.

Saturday: Kneaders french toast with Nutella I brought in my purse:), Cheesecake factory corn tamale cakes and louisiana chicken pasta, SB cinnamon Dolce, Domino's toasted chicken parmesan sub and a slice of thick crust pizza, 1/2 slice red velvet cheesecake, 1 creme brulee cupcake, licorice.

I wanted to die most of the time. I definitely did not enjoy as normal :) I weighed in this morning and had gained exactly 5# for the 2 load days. I started at 155.4 so this morning was 160.4. It was so hard to see the number 160! That was soooo long ago! At least it will be gone tomorrow :) I really want this to be my last round for a good long while so I am going to try to hit 135-137 if it kills me :) That would be 18-20# from my start weight. Which would definitely be possible in 40 days. As long as I have a better round than the last on that is. So when I start whining and say I am going to give up, you guys have to remind me of that!

I am going to TRY to not be a freak and make HCG all encompassing. I am hoping to just live life and try to keep the diet on the sidelines and not the primary focus 24/7. I may not weigh every day. Might be better to weigh 2-3 times a week. Should have a nice loss each time rather than fretting the day to day ups and downs. I will just go with how I feel. Even though I said this in the past I always ended up weighing :) Oh well.....

Let the games begin!

So, I decided that I would start HCG yesterday and maybe load for 3 days and then start the VLCD on Monday. That was before I remembered how hard it is to load once the HCG is in your system. All of the yummy things I was dreaming about, went out the window. I was having to force it most of the time! Such a cruel trick :) So this morning I am off for my final french toast! I hope I can get it down. I guess I will see how I feel tomorrow morning. I may just go ahead with the VLCD then. I hope I survive today...... :)

Diet VS Exercise!

For all those out gym rats out there who think you can exercise off a bad diet, you may need to rethink that strategy :) The average 30-45 minute exercise session burns roughly 300 calories. You can't even burn off a child size happy meal with that. A child's happy meal is 640 calories. For the average overweight person, they are eating a lot more than a happy meal to cause their current condition. Even if they exercise every day for 45 min, they won't even come close to burning off the calories to make up for the bad eating habits. Let's say that is the only bad thing they ate that day (above their maintenance calorie level), and they burned their 300 calories thru exercise. There are still 340 calories left that did not get burned off. If you did that every day that would be 10,200 extra calories or 2.9 lbs gained in a month. And that is for nothing more than a happy meal. Something to think about! Here is a funny but very perfect video to demonstrate this :) Enjoy!

Back to the basics....

I love that I can come here and say whatever I need to say, and you all just love me thru it. Even though I can be a total nut job at times :) You are probably wondering why I have a picture of training wheels........ cuz that's what this feels like DAMMIT! I feel like I just went thru losing all the weight. Breaking old habits and addictions. Being stable as ever etc. Like being on a bike with training wheels and graduating to the "Big Girl Bike". Then bam! I realize that I still have issues, I will have to re-lose some of the weight I lost, and old habits are still sitting right on the sidelines ready to take over! Having to do another round feels like going back to "training wheels" again :)

I remember my very first round a year ago, and how emotional it was. I remember feeling angry. I remember feeling like I was losing my best friend (food). I remember feeling like I was losing my favorite form of entertainment (food). I really got to see how warped my relationship with food had become. Then as I went thru my first and second round, I broke thru all that and realized I did not need food for emotional reasons or entertainment. I was so proud of myself and the progress I had made mentally, even more than physically. Well, ever since I made the decision to start another round, I have been a total weirdo. Angry, upset, feeling like I was losing my favorite "blanket" etc. Holy Crap! I realized that slowly over time I have let some of my emotional attachments to food sneak back in without even realizing it. I thought about how much I am looking forward to "free days" and that my fun with my husband is on those days. I am doing EXACTLY what I did in the past. Attaching all of my emotions around food events. It just isn't as bad because I am good about correcting over the week and I am 70 lbs lighter too. Totally shocking to see how hard it is to overcome all this garbage.

Anyways, those of you who know me, know that I am a perfectionist so I just have to say that it really TICKS ME OFF that I will be starting this round basically where I started my last round. This morning I was still 155.2. Granted, I have been 150 for the past 5 months, and 5# really isn't that big of a deal after a 16 day vacation and "free weekends" instead of "free days" :) I still just want to go on record that it makes me mad. Ok? There, I feel much better now :)

Here we go again...

Ok, my friend and I decided to start our next round on Monday. So anyone who is thinking of starting soon, jump on in! LD, that means you :) I have gone back and forth on this, but I really want to give it another shot. I love maintenance, but I also know I have gotten a little off track and would like to "restart" and get myself back in line. Get the sugars back out of my system..... mostly the french toast :) I am so going to miss my "free weekends", but I know I need to get re-focused. Lifetime maintenance will come again and hopefully by then I can stick to just one day a week :) I also think that this round I will add back the carbs during p4. I did not do that last round, and I think it made me more carb intolerant. I have been doing research on resistant starches. Very interesting. Turns out that some specific starches actually promote weight loss. So maybe those will be a perfect thing to add back when the time comes. I will do a post soon about what I have found out. As of this morning I was 155.2. I will most likely be 153-154 on Saturday morning when I start again. Not too bad. That is 3-4 pounds above where I have been for the last 4-5 months. Here goes nothin... :)