I don't know what is wrong with me. Actually, this seems to happen pretty regularly. I am the typical perfectionist/overachiever type. I love a challenge and am most happy when I am using my brain. I love to work, and mothering has always been harder for me. I usually always work at least part time. Even though it is nice to have a break, this seems to happen after awhile. I get depressed and feel like I don't know what to do with myself. The house is clean, the projects are done, and now what??? I am the type of person who has the running "to-do" list in her head at all times. I can't sit still, and have never been able to take a nap during the day time. I used to love reading, and now would be the perfect time to just relax and catch up on some good books, but I can't. Same thing with the HCG. Each phase is always a challenge and has it's own things to work on. But when you hit lifetime maintenance after a while, it just becomes life. So combine those two and I am a basket case :) I am turning 39 in a few weeks. Age has never been an issue for me or bothered me. Until now. I am feeling like time is running out and I don't have anything to show for it. I feel anxiety, and an extreme need to travel. To get out there and go, see and do. On the body front, it is the same. Yes I lost the weight, but 40 year old skin is not 20 year old skin! I feel like I got to the game late. I think everyone thinks of losing the weight and getting to be that picture in your head of your perfect body. Only to realize it is a smaller version of my old self. Still all of the stretch marks and imperfections. And now I even have a varicose vein too!! I am my grandmother!! Ok, I know I need to calm down. I am guessing this is what a mid life crisis feels like :) Who am I? What do I bring to the world? What do I have to show for my life? What am I going to do with the rest of my life? For someone who has slight "control" issues, it really sucks not having all the answers and not knowing what to do next.
Dear Jen - Thank you for being here and for letting us into your life. Don't forget to breathe! You may think you are not working however you are helping/assisting/encouraging/organizing/being a resource for so many people trying to life a healthier life - that is HUGE and we thank you. I have said this before and I will say it again many of these people would pay you for your advice/assistance/resources maybe you could spend sometime on starting your own business? I really really want your recipes and food findings in one little book - I am finding it difficult to browse through your web site and I would PAY you for it!! A booklet as simple as the booklet we received with the drops. I saw that pounds and inches away came out with a P3 recipe book but I want yours!!! You have been so creative with your site I can all ready see how encouraging and useful your book will be. Anyway - I know how difficult sitting in the space of "what am I doing" feels like; going through the same thing myself presently. All the best - hoping to see you on the best sellers list:) Kelly from Bothell
ReplyDeleteKelly is right - you are contributing and you can still do more. Absolutely put a book together.
ReplyDeleteI understand though too where you're coming from, especially after YEARS of pouring your energy into battling your weight. Here you are, at the other side and it's like, "Now what?". At least this has been my experience.
Have you thought about putting your resume' together and sending it to the many HCG clinics around here? You can't walk a block without running into one! You have so much to share, I am sure someone would snatch you up as a counselor!
Hi Jen - me again from Bothell - would you please direct me to your recipe's for Coco almonds balls and haystack I tried to find it but ??
ReplyDeleteThank you - Kelly