R4 P2 D5...

Down -3.2lbs! Only 1.6 more to be back to start weight!

The first VLCD really wasn't too bad. I was not hungry except for right before meal times. I was a little tired, but overall better than expected. I keep trying not to dwell on the fact that I still have soooooo long to go :) One nice thing I forgot about was the good sleep! I got tired early and slept really well all night.

Here is what I will be eating today:

40g Jay Robb 146.6

60g spinach 13.8

115g straw 36.8

5g cocoa 10.0

4oz tilapia 110.0

200g asparagus 50.0

215g apple 111.8

Total calories: 479.0

I use Jay Robb shakes as protein sources as well. They were fine in the past. The nice thing is that I can make 2 shakes out of the protein, spinach, strawberry and cocoa. Very filling.

R4 P2 D4....

Well, I did the VLCD yesterday all day till 7pm and was just getting ready to make my second meal when the family really wanted to go out. I had originally planned to do 3 loading days and start VLCD today. So, in the end they convinced me to have one final meal! It was hard because I really wanted to start and see the numbers drop :) So today is my first real VLCD. I lost .2 yesterday even with the meal so I am 160.2. I am off to work this morning with my food ready to go! My first goal is to get back to where I spent the last 5 months or so at 149.8. That was before vacation and loading. Here was today:

4oz chicken 146.6

215g apple 111.8

200g celery 32

3oz chicken 110

115g straw 36.8

200g tomato 36

5g cocoa 10

Total Calories: 483.20

**I am going to leave out the starches and up the protein just a smidge. A lot of people have been having better results with that. Also, the HCG book I use says that unsweetened cocoa is a spice and I have used it in every round so far. I drink 1 liter of water, 1 liter cold yerba mate iced tea, 2 cups hot tea daily. The cocoa is used for a strawberry smoothie, made with portion frozen strawberries, 1 TBSP cocoa, 3/4 cup water, stevia to taste. Blend till smooth. I will only going walking 20-30 minutes for exercise, when I feel the energy to do so :)

R4 P2 D3...

Let's see my 2 days of loading went a little like this:

Friday: Venti SB Cinnamon Dolce and pumpkin bread, In-n-Out burger and fries, Sweetooth Fairy cupcakes in carrot and coconut, Cafe Rio salad and key lime pie, licorice and pumpkin choc chip cookies.

Saturday: Kneaders french toast with Nutella I brought in my purse:), Cheesecake factory corn tamale cakes and louisiana chicken pasta, SB cinnamon Dolce, Domino's toasted chicken parmesan sub and a slice of thick crust pizza, 1/2 slice red velvet cheesecake, 1 creme brulee cupcake, licorice.

I wanted to die most of the time. I definitely did not enjoy as normal :) I weighed in this morning and had gained exactly 5# for the 2 load days. I started at 155.4 so this morning was 160.4. It was so hard to see the number 160! That was soooo long ago! At least it will be gone tomorrow :) I really want this to be my last round for a good long while so I am going to try to hit 135-137 if it kills me :) That would be 18-20# from my start weight. Which would definitely be possible in 40 days. As long as I have a better round than the last on that is. So when I start whining and say I am going to give up, you guys have to remind me of that!

I am going to TRY to not be a freak and make HCG all encompassing. I am hoping to just live life and try to keep the diet on the sidelines and not the primary focus 24/7. I may not weigh every day. Might be better to weigh 2-3 times a week. Should have a nice loss each time rather than fretting the day to day ups and downs. I will just go with how I feel. Even though I said this in the past I always ended up weighing :) Oh well.....

Let the games begin!

So, I decided that I would start HCG yesterday and maybe load for 3 days and then start the VLCD on Monday. That was before I remembered how hard it is to load once the HCG is in your system. All of the yummy things I was dreaming about, went out the window. I was having to force it most of the time! Such a cruel trick :) So this morning I am off for my final french toast! I hope I can get it down. I guess I will see how I feel tomorrow morning. I may just go ahead with the VLCD then. I hope I survive today...... :)

Diet VS Exercise!

For all those out gym rats out there who think you can exercise off a bad diet, you may need to rethink that strategy :) The average 30-45 minute exercise session burns roughly 300 calories. You can't even burn off a child size happy meal with that. A child's happy meal is 640 calories. For the average overweight person, they are eating a lot more than a happy meal to cause their current condition. Even if they exercise every day for 45 min, they won't even come close to burning off the calories to make up for the bad eating habits. Let's say that is the only bad thing they ate that day (above their maintenance calorie level), and they burned their 300 calories thru exercise. There are still 340 calories left that did not get burned off. If you did that every day that would be 10,200 extra calories or 2.9 lbs gained in a month. And that is for nothing more than a happy meal. Something to think about! Here is a funny but very perfect video to demonstrate this :) Enjoy!

Back to the basics....

I love that I can come here and say whatever I need to say, and you all just love me thru it. Even though I can be a total nut job at times :) You are probably wondering why I have a picture of training wheels........ cuz that's what this feels like DAMMIT! I feel like I just went thru losing all the weight. Breaking old habits and addictions. Being stable as ever etc. Like being on a bike with training wheels and graduating to the "Big Girl Bike". Then bam! I realize that I still have issues, I will have to re-lose some of the weight I lost, and old habits are still sitting right on the sidelines ready to take over! Having to do another round feels like going back to "training wheels" again :)

I remember my very first round a year ago, and how emotional it was. I remember feeling angry. I remember feeling like I was losing my best friend (food). I remember feeling like I was losing my favorite form of entertainment (food). I really got to see how warped my relationship with food had become. Then as I went thru my first and second round, I broke thru all that and realized I did not need food for emotional reasons or entertainment. I was so proud of myself and the progress I had made mentally, even more than physically. Well, ever since I made the decision to start another round, I have been a total weirdo. Angry, upset, feeling like I was losing my favorite "blanket" etc. Holy Crap! I realized that slowly over time I have let some of my emotional attachments to food sneak back in without even realizing it. I thought about how much I am looking forward to "free days" and that my fun with my husband is on those days. I am doing EXACTLY what I did in the past. Attaching all of my emotions around food events. It just isn't as bad because I am good about correcting over the week and I am 70 lbs lighter too. Totally shocking to see how hard it is to overcome all this garbage.

Anyways, those of you who know me, know that I am a perfectionist so I just have to say that it really TICKS ME OFF that I will be starting this round basically where I started my last round. This morning I was still 155.2. Granted, I have been 150 for the past 5 months, and 5# really isn't that big of a deal after a 16 day vacation and "free weekends" instead of "free days" :) I still just want to go on record that it makes me mad. Ok? There, I feel much better now :)

Here we go again...

Ok, my friend and I decided to start our next round on Monday. So anyone who is thinking of starting soon, jump on in! LD, that means you :) I have gone back and forth on this, but I really want to give it another shot. I love maintenance, but I also know I have gotten a little off track and would like to "restart" and get myself back in line. Get the sugars back out of my system..... mostly the french toast :) I am so going to miss my "free weekends", but I know I need to get re-focused. Lifetime maintenance will come again and hopefully by then I can stick to just one day a week :) I also think that this round I will add back the carbs during p4. I did not do that last round, and I think it made me more carb intolerant. I have been doing research on resistant starches. Very interesting. Turns out that some specific starches actually promote weight loss. So maybe those will be a perfect thing to add back when the time comes. I will do a post soon about what I have found out. As of this morning I was 155.2. I will most likely be 153-154 on Saturday morning when I start again. Not too bad. That is 3-4 pounds above where I have been for the last 4-5 months. Here goes nothin... :)

Life insurance and life in general....

My husband and I decided we should probably act like grown ups and get some life insurance in place. You see all the commercials, and it seems easy enough. So, we talked with an agent and had to go thru all of this paperwork. Next was a very long phone interview, and then said they would be sending someone to our house to do a medical "exam". Yesterday morning I was weighed, measured, blood pressure taken 3 x's, pee'd in a cup, and had massive amounts of blood taken!! For pete's sake! Who knew it would be that intensive??

In other news, I have been horrible with getting back to my pre vacation weight :) I have been about 150 for the last 4-5 months. When I finally decided to weigh after vacation, I was 154.4. Not too bad. I started doing what I should and got back to 151.8, but then had a free weekend. It went right up to around 157. Then I corrected again over the week and it went back to the 154.4, and then of course did the weekend again. So it is back to 157 :( I know the fact that I am doing another round is making me have that feeling of "who cares, your doing another round anyways..." But I really wanted to hit new territory, not just re-lose my last round. My last round started at 156.4 and I only lost 12#'s to get to 144.4. Then I started exercising right out of the gate and the weigh quickly went to 149.8 and that is pretty much where I stayed. (I still have time to try to get it back down to the 150 before I start around Sept. 7th.) I have noticed that the body seems to be trying to stick closer to the 156 now, and I wonder if that is because it was my last LIW and I stayed there for quite awhile between my second and third rounds. It is like once I went up over a certain point, the body recognized my old LIW and is trying to go there. Also, on my first 2 rounds I just followed the rules and my weight never moved and I stayed UNDER LIW for most of the time. No counting calories, ate tons of food and never gained an ounce. I did not add back the exercise in p3. It was effortless as long as I followed p3 and p4 guidelines. After this last round I have had to fight a lot harder to keep the weight stable, pay attention to calories and food, etc. I added exercise in p3 and the weight went up accordingly. It makes me wonder if the weight never really "reset" and that I was able to keep it there only because I was working so hard with exercise and counting calories etc. This round I am going to be very careful of they way I come off. I am going to wait to add back the exercise (other that light stuff), until p3 is over. I really want to have that freedom back of not counting and stressing over everything. Just eat the right things and the body stays right on target. I will try to get as close as I can to the 150 before I start, and would love to get to 137 or so, so that I can lock in at 140 or less. That is the goal........ :)

Here comes the rain....

Holy cow, it sounds like someone is pouring huge buckets of water over my house right now! Not to mention the lightning and thunder :) I actually love storms so I am sort of enjoying it. I just got back from dance class. My clothes are pretty much soaked like I just went swimming in them! Dance has got to be one of the hardest workouts, BUT also one of the most fun! When I am on the go one of my favorite meals that I can throw in my purse is: a Larabar and Ostrim Jerky.

Larabars are sooooo good. They have nothing but fruit and nuts in them, and the jerky has a whopping 14 grams of protein per stick! I am off to do some chores!!

Healthy Snack Option!

I recently got some yummy snacks to review from: Paleo Women: Snacks and Granola's. They have 4 flavors of their granola. Banana Nut, Apple Crisp, Cacao Nut, and Cappuccino Crunch! They all were awesome. They are all natural with no additives or preservatives. Wheat and gluten free. Made from nuts, seeds, berries, fruit, spices and natural sweeteners. An excellent snack when you are on the go, or to toss with fruit or yogurt. I love snacks that you can feel good about eating, knowing you are eating real whole foods without any of the junk! Laura is the founder and was super sweet and helpful! So next time you are looking for a snack, don't forget to give them a try!

Don't Ask.....Don't Tell....

As in......... "Don't Ask me if I stayed away from the french toast, so that I Don't Tell you that I didn't! " :) How's that for will power :) Sorry guys, the weekends are just too much fun. Thank goodness I am very good during the week or else I would be in serious trouble. I think the fact that I know I am going to do another round soon, is sort of making me live on the edge:) Work was really slow last week. I think everyone is finishing up vacations, and getting ready for school. Or maybe they are all at Kneader's eating french toast! Whatever the cause, I hope it picks up this week. My neck and back have been acting up again, giving me non-stop headaches, and making exercise feel like torture. Hopefully it will ease up and give me some relief. Since I gave you a shot of my favorite breakfast, here is one of my favorite dinners....A hamburger patty with onions and mushrooms in a little Honeyaki sauce. Mashed acorn squash with butter, salt and pepper. Green beans. Simple but delicious!

My favorite breakfast these days!

Down another -0.8lbs this morning! Very pleased to know that just getting back to my normal eating and exercise takes the body back to where it should be. And the food is great too. This has been my breakfast all week. Yum! 2 scrambled eggs with 1/2 oz colby jack cheese, a sprinke of bacon and jalapeno. 1 slice ezekiel bread with butter and honey drizzled on it. Some strawberries, blueberries, blackberries and raspberries. Diet? What diet? I will take this anyday!

Almost there...

Down another -2.0 lbs this morning!! So now I am just -2.8 away from being back where I left before vacation. Today is another beautiful sunny day. I am going to go to dance class this morning and then lay by the pool for about an hour before heading into work.

Getting closer....

Yesterday was just a typical lower carb day. I forgot my aunt was going to be in town just for the night. I was supposed to go to dance class after work, and then was just going to have a protein shake for dinner when I got home. Instead, I did not get to work out and ended up eating out. I went to Cafe Rio and had a salad with extra meat and no rice. We even shared a little key lime pie. I was bummed thinking that all of my hard work all day probably just got messed up. But this morning I was down -1.8!! So now I am 4.8 away from being back where I normally am. I will get there!

Little at a time...

Okay so this might take a little more work than usual :) I did my steak day yesterday, but only lost -1.2 lbs. Usually I get 2-3! So now I am 6.6 away from getting back to where I was when I left for vacation. I will do my usual for the rest of the week and hopefully get another 3-4 off this week. I hate the end of summer and getting back to school and homework :( Lots to do and so little time!

Will I ever learn??

So, I get back from vacation and turns out the gain isn't that bad, and what do I do?

(I told myself I would just eat clean until the weight was off, before there were any more free days.) Well, Saturday morning TOM hit. Then it became a free day. Probably would not have been too bad, had Sunday not become a free day too! For pete's sake! As of this morning, instead of the 4.6 above I am 7.8 above! TOM is some of that. I have lost 7# in one week before, so let's see what I can do :) Steak day today and then low carb the rest of the week. I have decided to do my next round starting the first weekend in September. I just want to be 149.8 at least by the time I start again so I am not re-losing. I have plenty of time for that. It would be really nice if a few of you could stand post outside of Kneaders this Saturday with a scale. Don't let me in the door unless I am back at 149.8 :) I promise I will learn.....someday.... ;)

Happy Saturday!

Nothing like waking up on a glorious saturday morning with TOM to greet you! Knew that one was coming. Work has been pretty busy the past couple days. Last night my husband and I went to see Step Up 3. You know me, I love dance. It was SO bad when it comes to acting, but the dancing was pretty cool. This morning we are going to go work out and then have some Kneaders french toast! YUM! I have been reading a fitness girls blog for about the past 7 years. She is awesome and I love her insight. Her latest post: Discipline, Diets and Whining is perfect. Click the link to read. So good :)

Not too bad!

Okay, so maybe it wasn't as bad as I thought:) I keep trying on my pants that I want to fit right and yesterday morning they really weren't that bad. So I thought, do I dare check the scale?? I did and I was 154.4! Only 4.6 above where I left on vacation! That was after a steak day and a high protein day. I can live with that :) TOM is due any day now, so I will just keep doing what I am doing and weigh at the end of next week when TOM is gone and see where I end up.

Work is busy. We got a completely new software program and are having to transfer all of the old data into the new program. But it will be really nice when it is done. It is almost time for kids to be going back to school (ugh!) and of course there is plenty to do for that. I am headed off to dance class before work. Have a great day!

Back to work!

Wow, it feels like it has been a year since I last posted. We were completely off the grid for 2 weeks :) I have been trying to catch up on you guys since we got back Sunday night. I would have posted yesterday but my internet was having issues!

First off, it was fabulous. The weather was perfect and the water was beautiful. My husband and I had the first week to ourselves and then the second week with the kid. Very relaxing and a great time. Most days were boating, swimming, and tanning. I could definitely get used to that on a permanent basis :)

Now for the "weight" issues...... let's just say I have some work to do :) I did not get on the scale while I was gone and I still have not gotten on since I got home. I did a steak day yesterday and am going to do P3 style and high protein till my clothes fit the way they should. I wore the smallest pair of pants I own the day before I left, and I can still put them on and button them, but they are TIGHT! All of my clothes are snug:)

I had a very good time on vacation, but the mental battles were tough. When you eat low carb, and then eat carbs a lot, you get the water re-flooding your system. For most people that is 4-8lbs. So within about 3 days I could feel that, but did not feel like doing steak days constantly to bring that back off. I could have been good and ate they way I do at home, but I bring my cooler everywhere and we were always on the run and I just did not want to do all of that. So I had a few really hard days where I was emotionally beating myself up, but I finally decided it was not worth it. I had to either suck it up and eat right or take a vacation and just enjoy. Enjoy is what I did. Or over did :) It is amazing that even after all this time old habits just come right back. But I have learned so much this year and I know what needs to be done.

I am guessing that I probably gained 12 pounds or so. It seems like a lot, but the big bulk would be water and then some gain. I know seeing the numbers would send me over the edge and make me crazy, so I am just going to do what I have been doing. Eating clean and exercising. One thing I decided on vacation was to do another round. I am fine with where I am, but it is right at the top end of where I want to be. After the vacation, I realize I would like a much bigger cushion and get to the lowest end of where I want to be. My LDW was 144.5 for my last round but went to 149.8 immediately after adding exercise. That is pretty much where I have stayed for the last 4 months. I would like to get around 130-135 and see if I can stay there. I am planning to start in September, so anyone who might be starting then, let me know and lets do it together!! Here are some pics from vacation: